after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
