I wannas sexs uuuuu
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
40s are totally the cure
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
