There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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