he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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