Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
do herpes really smell.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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