You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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