Im at strip club and am horny
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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