no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
