She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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