You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
