im gay
i know
yea but for you.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
