I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
