he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
