Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
