I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
