Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
