i love accidental penises.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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