hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
