its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
