3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
why do cheetos always look like penises
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
