im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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