TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
