just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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