it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
