I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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