you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
