Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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