Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
