living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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