I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
