how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
We smell like vodka and hangover
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