I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
