attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
