ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We are two peas in an std pod
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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