I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I had to cum in my sink.
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