therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
