Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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