Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
