My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
