these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
