dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
