Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
