btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
