My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
