I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
