please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
