her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
