how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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