Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
