Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
